International Super Spy

Saturday night I accompanied Olivia to the annual dinner of the Asian Pacific American Chamber of Commerce at the Royal Park Hotel. It was a black tie or "ethnic garb" affair, and I chose the former (though I will have another post later about being a White Guy in a Barong.)

When I wear a tuxedo, there's a part of me that feels like I'm Chuck Bartowski pretending to be Charles Carmichael, International Super Spy. (And yes, I have been called International Super Spy, by my nephew Kieran, who picked up the phrase from the Backyardigans.) It's like I don't feel that I belong at a black-tie event, I'm just pretending to be someone who does.

I've been thinking about this recently after reading Malcolm Gladwell's new book Outliers. In his book, he mentions that one of the major differences between children raised in middle and upper class househoulds is that they are taught to be comfortable in situations, to be confident enough to ask a doctor questions, for example, when compared to children raised in lower class households. Failure to feel comfortable in situations helps to explain the difference in achievement between children from different economic backgrounds.

I've been learning a lot about this through my wife. I am amazed at how she is able to feel comfortable and be herself in all situations, from public speaking to formal situations down to looking in the clearance aisle at K-Mart for cheap ways to help stage my house last year. When I'm with her I feel more comfortable with who I am. I'm no longer playing the role of International Super Spy, I'm me. And that's just one of the reasons why I love her!